You know, Skyrim is, at least by my humble opinion responsible for 1 breakup every few days. Its one of those things you know - the ones you store non-perishable food, divorce your wife, put your kids and pets for adoption for. So anyway, instead of arguing about it, me and my girlfriend, decided to do something about it.(she was with the camera)
The Fresh Guard of Riften
Now, this is a story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the guard of a town called Riften
In west Tamriel born and raised
On the archery range was where I spent most of my days
Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool
And all shootin some x-bows outside of the inn
When a couple of elves
Who were up to no good
Startin making trouble in my neighborhood
I got in one little fight and my mom got scared
And said 'You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Riften'
I begged and pleaded with her day after day
But she packed my armor and send me on my way
She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket.
I put my helm on and said, 'I might as well kick it'.
First trip, yo this is bad
The cold is freezing my gonads.
Is this what the people of Riften Living like?
Hmmmmm this can't be alright.
But wait I hear there're tricky, thieves and all that
Is this the type of place that they should send this cool cat?
I don't think so
I'll see when I get there
I hope they're prepared for the hero of Riften
Well, I crossed the border and when I looked around
There was an elf who looked like a cop standing there with his bow out
I ain't trying to get shot yet but too late
Alas, he got my knee here
and sprang with the quickness like lightning - disappeared
I whistled for a wagon and when it came near
The license plate said fresh and it had arrows in the rear
If anything I can say that this wagon was rare
But I thought 'Nah forget it' - 'Yo homes to Riften'
I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8
And I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo homes smell ya later'
I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the Guard of Riften